Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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