I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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