whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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