How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can't put those talents on a resume
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
