i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
