so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
