I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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