Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
