I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
