He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
