I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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