You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
