WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize