I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
