Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
