It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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