sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
