I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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