And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
