If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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