i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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