so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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