..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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