There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
