i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
