i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
