Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
