can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
