We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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