Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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