Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
