My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
