i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
