I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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