can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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