What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
