Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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