Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
