yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
