You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
