This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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