theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
