My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
