i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
