I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
