I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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