CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
