If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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