hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
