they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
NoShamevember. You game?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
