btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
where are my eyebrows?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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