guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Boobs speak an international language.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
