He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
