he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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