i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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