wanna go halves on a baby?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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