is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize