before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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