Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
