You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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