i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
