just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Randomize
